


Keep It All Together Now

by wickedblackbird



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Batfamily (DCU), Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Comics/Movie Crossover, Dinah just wants to ensure this idiot stays alive, F/F, Gen, Harley decides to take down the Joker, Harley is a Mess, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Past Abuse, Slow Romance, They're just in over their heads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23871217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedblackbird/pseuds/wickedblackbird
Summary: Harley is trying her best to get her life in order. And to get rid of the Joker.Step one: get Bruce Wayne to adopt Cass.Step two: stop pining over Dinah.Step three: well... maybe best to at least sort out steps one and two. Really, she has a bigger plan, but it just might get her killed in the long run.
Relationships: Birds of Prey Members & Harleen Quinzel, Cassandra Cain & Harleen Quinzel, Dinah Lance/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	Keep It All Together Now

**Author's Note:**

> This is 100% in the movie universe for Birds of Prey, but is pretty much the comics for everyone else. Though, admittedly, a weird hodgepodge of timelines from the comics. Just for reference -- in this version Bruce is in his early forties, Dick and Jason are late twenties, Tim is about 16, and Damian is 13 (and therefore of an age with Cass). Honestly, none of them are in this chapter anyway.

Things stopped making sense on a Tuesday. And, as usual, it started with Harley Quinn and one of her "great ideas."

"You invited someone to my house?" Renee demanded, staring at Harley like the other woman had lost what little remained of her sanity.

"Our house," Helena put in.

"Fine, our house. You invited someone to our house, where _you_ do not live."

"I don't mind," Helena said.

"See?" Harley cried, throwing her hands up in the air, as though Helena's approval solved the whole matter. Which, in some ways, it did. Helena might not mind that her money paid for most of their new life, but Renee had yet to entirely square that with her built-in work ethic. She didn't entirely feel ownership of her life, which grated and made her snappish. But, insecurity notwithstanding, they could not let _Harley Quinn_ think that she could just waltz in and do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. Which was exactly what was happening.

Renee closed her eyes and breathed in through her nose. She and Helena had just been sitting at the table, drinking an afternoon cup of coffee and chatting _like adults_ , when Harley burst in and asked if there would be enough coffee for their guest, or if she should make another pot.

"And who, exactly," she asked through definitely-not-clenched teeth, "are we expecting?"

"Well, that's the thing," Harley said, for the first time looking slightly uncomfortable. "He's kind of more your sort than mine, but it's _really_ important, and that's why I thought that we should meet here instead of my apartment, and ---"

"Who's more 'our sort?'" Dinah asked, as she also came into the kitchen, tone more than conveying her irritation with the phrase. Colour rose in Harley's cheeks, even with her pale makeup.

"Bruce Wayne."

All three of them stared at her in shocked silence.

"I'm sorry," Renee said, her voice much more level than she was expecting. "Did you just say 'Bruce Wayne?' As in THE Bruce Wayne. You invited Bruce Wayne here." Harley squirmed under their looks.

"Well, it's not like you don't all know him already!"

"We don't know Bruce Wayne!" Dinah hissed at her.

"Oh, come on! I know, it's not like you have to pretend!"

"You've lost me here," Helena said, brow furrowed. "What do we know that you know?"

"That he's Batman!" Even Helena laughed at that one.

"Jesus, Harley, you had me going there for a second. Who did you really invite?"

Harley stared at them like they were the ones pulling a joke, before groaning dramatically and slumping in her chair.

"Not you too! I thought all of you were too smart to be Gotham Blind! Plus, you _know him_."

"What are you talking about?" Harley heaved another dramatic sigh, before snapping upwards to sit straight. She folded her hands primly on the table. Internally, Renee rolled her eyes, recognizing Harley's Lecture Face.

"Gotham Blindness is the strange phenomenon wherein the local population simply refuses to see what is staring them right in the face. Namely, that there are a lot of things to prove that Bruce Wayne is Batman. First: Batman's toys cannot come cheap, and who else could afford to just have an endless supply of everything? Second: he is really built for a guy who supposedly spends his days pimping for charities and buying sports cars. Third, and most obvious: _Batman's sidekicks are clearly just Bruce Wayne's kids_. Same number, same ages, same looks. They don't even hide it!"

"Oh my god." That was Dinah. She sat down hard on the remaining chair, looking every bit as shell-shocked as Renee felt. Laid out like that, how the hell hadn't any of them noticed. It was so simple as to be embarrassing. Of course Bruce Wayne was Batman. Helena's brows were furrowed again, and she looked annoyed as well as shocked.

"That's --"

"Yup," Harley said.

"But --"

"I talked about this with Edward once or twice when he was in Arkham. And Doctor Crane once, back when he was still one of my professors and not -- you know --"

"The Scarecrow?" Dinah asked, the dryness of her tone indicating that she was regaining some equilibrium. Renee wasn't there yet.

"Exactly! Edward thinks everyone is just too dumb and self-absorbed to notice. Doctor Crane thinks they're purposely not noticing because then they're sorta responsible for letting it happen. I think they're both right and wrong. Mostly, I think Gotham has bigger problems than Batman, so most people just try to ignore it an move on." All of which... made sense.

"I always forget how smart you actually are," Renee grumbled. "It's really fucking annoying."

"Hey! That's --"

"Just say 'thank you,' Harley," Dinah cut her off, before a full blown argument could ensue. "She called you smart."

"Oh." Harley visibly deflated slightly. "Thank you."

Renee took another deep breath, ran a hand down her face, and wished that there was something a little more bracing than coffee in her mug. OK. Okay, she could deal with this. Bruce Wayne was Batman. Bruce Wayne was Batman, which was totally fine. Batman was scary, but they had dealt with him a couple of times without it being terrible. Except --

"Wait," she said. "But this all started because you said --"

The doorbell rang.

"Surprise?" Harley offered weakly, giving them a fake smile and making jazz hands. And every remaining bit of sense flew right out the window.

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from Deap Vally's "Bring It On"


End file.
